Open Letter
by Leiloshere
Summary: Open letter to a beloved person ... all the things I didn't have time to tell him, but that he has to know ... oneshot, deathfic


My first story translated in English … yeah I'm French, so please have mercy!

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine, all to JKR … pfff :)

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**OPEN LETTER**

He's gone. Can you believe it? He said he loved me, and then he left. Draco Malfoy, you will regret to be gone before I could tell you all that I feel for you!

What I feel? Love. A feeling as deep as sincere, which has been hounding me for two long years.

Since that day you consoled me.

Sirius had vanished; I had spent the whole summer alone in his house, my head full of memories, and I went back to Hogwarts without really knowing what I was going to do there. Nothing seemed interesting to me anymore. I was wandering in the castle as a zombie in a Muggle movie – only driven by vital needs: eating and sleeping.

And one day … I had skipped all the lessons of the day, and I was walking, on and on, without even being conscious of what I was doing. Then I arrived close to your common room as you were returning to it, surrounded by your court. Crabbe bumped hardly into me, and I was sharply hurled against the stone floor, under the others' laughter. But not yours.

I didn't stand up again. I didn't retaliate. I just burst into tears. Too much in my head, in my heart. Fed up with some people's hostility, with the others' pity.

I was crying and crying again. And I felt a soft hand on my shoulder.

You didn't say anything – you just sit near me, your hand on my shoulder, with neutral eyes, and you waited. You waited for me to calm down.

When my sobs had stopped, you said just one thing: "Do you want to talk?"

Well, you weren't the first to offer it – far from it. But you, you didn't have that look of empathetic pity; you weren't trying to satisfy your morbid curiosity or to accomplish your good deed of the day.

That's why I accepted. Why I came out with it in front of my worst enemy, sitting in the middle of a corridor.

This is how our relationship began.

Relationship … We didn't even know what it was in fact – friendship, love, or a tacit rest.

In public, we played the enemies.

In private, we were meeting in an old, disused classroom, and we were talking. We quickly knew each other inside out. There were sometimes gestures – you clasped me in your arms, I held your hand, sometimes a light kiss on the cheek – but we never dared to conclude anything from it.

It had been like that for one year. Then came the summer holiday. This is when everything changed.

It is during your absence that I realised the great space you had taken in my life – and in my heart.

And when we met again at the start of the new school year … I first felt ill at ease, but nothing had changed for you – so I kept playing the game.

We finally revealed our friendship to the rest of the school. It was a shock, but everybody accepted it more or less, on my side as on yours. It reinforced our relationship, and so my feelings towards you.

Feelings that I never believed were shared. So that I never dared to confess.

And then, like that, you tell me that and leave!

The final fight. The one we had been expecting for so long. You had abandoned your father to side with the Order of the Phoenix. So we fought together. Without consulting each other, we always stayed together – maybe to protect one another, who knows.

Thus it is together that we found Voldemort. And together that we killed him, by a double unpardonable spell.

But the Dark Lord didn't surrender without fighting. He cast spells before dying. Including one …

Which reached you.

But you didn't say anything. No, your damned Slytherin pride prevented you from telling anything. You collapsed quietly, once the spell cast, as I was screaming with joy.

And I wanted to take you in my arms, and I found you on the floor, and you were bleeding all over.

You didn't have the right Draco! Not the right to tell me that just before leaving. Not the right to leave. Not the right to die.

And now I'm clasping your cold body in my arms, and I'm shouting you my love, and your last words are swirling in my head – I could never forget them.

But you don't wake up. You won't ever wake up. And I'd like so much to join you. I'd like you so much to know all this.

Besides it is for this that I am writing it. In bloody letters on a great parchment.

That I am going to leave on your tomb.

Before falling on it too, stroke down by the contents of the flask I'm holding in my hand.

In a few seconds I will be with you, and I will tell you all this personally. The others will understand.

And on my tombstone will be written: Harry Potter, dead for love.

This love we will have the eternity to make up for.

I love you too, Draco Malfoy.

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So? Please tell me if I made mistakes, especially on grammar, I'd like to improve it! Thanx! 


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